And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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