i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
