The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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