yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
