Your dad touched me again.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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