after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Randomize
