and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize