I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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