all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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