FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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