time to smoke my breakfast
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
