fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
