You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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