If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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