i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
