it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
