you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
