I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
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Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
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I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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