i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
