Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
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