And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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