How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
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