you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Randomize
