so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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