What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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