Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize
