# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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