So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize