i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize