I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
What a dumb baby whore.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
