: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
My ATM looks so different sober.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
