Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution