Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.