yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
