my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
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he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
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How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
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