kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
