paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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