Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Randomize
