they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
