you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Can I color on your dick again?
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
The Olympian is in my bed
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize