He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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