my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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