Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
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Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
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And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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