I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
