going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
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