Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
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We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
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If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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