i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
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