I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Randomize
