so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
She told me I should be a condom model.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
