I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They have beer where we have blood.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize