only if we run a train.
done.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
