..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
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