My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
