Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(810): View more from Michigan

Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.

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(310): View more from California

its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off

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(248): View more from Michigan

no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night

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(773): View more from Illinois

is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?

(773): View more from Illinois

it's more of a rinse.

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17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court
Read it at the TFLN blog
(704): View more from North Carolina

I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.

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(914): View more from New York

Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?

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(865): View more from Tennessee

In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.

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(616): View more from Michigan

I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?

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(205): View more from Alabama

I can only rely on you and Taco Bell

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