Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?