i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
two words: eviction party
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I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
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only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.