My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog