Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
These 19 Ladies Love Pegging Their Men
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell