Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Randomize
