is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
