just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
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she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
The air was thick with penises
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i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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